This tree to me.

This tree to me is an explosion captured in a freeze frame. Birth in a fractured moment. A piece of history left for a world to enjoy or ignore as they see fit. Walking slowly through my local park all the trees have taken on a impossibly beautiful form. A message to me from the earth that what I am and the things I go through bear no significance to the future of is earth. Some may find that a disturbing thought, but for me there is a sense of comfort in such knowledge. It helps to rationalise my fears and doubts, it puts the realities we all face into unblinking perspective. We may not want to die but we are going to, and the world we occupy for this dot in time is filled with joys and marvels of a nature far more powerful and spectacular than any man or woman could hope to conjure. So go outside and smell the grass, touch the air and laugh away your troubles because, well, because you can so why wouldn't you? And who knows, maybe you too will see that freeze frame of an exploding tree.

The pain.

The pain still pains but without such malice.
A dampened impact to my heart.
The waves still crash but in time I know how much such love can drown it out.
To know such company lifts the weight so heavy once upon my days.
A love, a care, a thought of feeling close to those that show they care.
So while I seek to heal this mind I'll keep in mind the ones who know.
The worlds we keep and hearts we need are always close and never cold.

Lost for the first time.

I've never felt like this before.
I am lost for the first time.
I am lost
And I am losing it still more.
I am wandering a land of strange sounds and feelings.
There would appear to be no end.
I am lost for the time being.
I hope for a sight.
A word or a light to lead me somewhere warm.
I have no strength and I'm slipping away.
Crying alone with the world as the only silent witness to my directionless fear.
The source of my pain hides, unseen by all in a corner of my mind.
I can't catch up and I am beginning to scar.
I can't scream to escape, nor cry away this darkness.
This deep open darkness folding it's wings around me to close out the light.
But I will fight.
I am not a man to be forced against my will.
I will overcome you, black nothingness.
I will find you.
But for now I remain.
Lost for the first time.