Engines.

Sailing through utter darkness.
I am surrounded by all that I fear.
By all that I hold dear.
A twist of love and hate,
where neither is truely clear.
A dead end.
A deaf ear.
Where to stear this vessel
When I'm lost and don't know where my engines lie.
Left and right are neither here nor there.
Neither then or now.
Who or how.
And yet I am at the helm.
Rudderless and laughing.
For what else can I do?
Hold on to nothing while falling into everything?
Looking for whatever clears a path.
A click.
A clap.
A sneeze.
If life comes back and clarity holds its breathe for a moment of solace.
I could see
Or I could grasp with a sense of where I am.
I can hold,
Or maybe let go
Whatever holds me on the ropes.
Grips me by the throat.
I should be strong.
Should really know.
Should hold the goal and not let go.
Should break my fall.
For where I land no creature knows.
I am master of nothing
And all things know that where minds go no man should follow.
No hand should borrow from a grown mans sorrow.
In places where we fall.
We all feel.
Gripping thoughts we all reveal
To ourselves and no one else.
Landing at the feet of men
Who offer nothing.
No collection of our moments.
Neither saint nor sinner left among us.
Not a purity of life that lifts the light of others.
We all report to our own borrowed sense of knowledge,
Sorrow,
Enlightenment,
A grasp of being better by the day,
And now we know that there is no one more important than ourselves.
We clap,
We howl,
And shout at stars and galaxies because we can.
Without a sense of time to tie us to a language departed long before us.
We hang our losses on the ones around us.
Neglecting the men before them and the land that bore their warriors.
We are a being trapped in time.
A freedom with perameters.
A cluster of broken lines with which we wish we had a mind.
Yet we are not blind.
We hold on to things and find someone who holds on dear to us in kind.
A love.
A kinder soul.
A better mind.
A place and grounding.
Us defined.